UNITED KINGDOM: Young, Asian and gay is not easy in the conservative South Asian Sikh society in England

Record ID: 277431

  • Title: UNITED KINGDOM: Young, Asian and gay is not easy in the conservative South Asian Sikh society in England
  • Date: 30th March 2008
  • Summary: POSTER ABOUT FORCED MARRIAGE (SOUNDBITE) (English) 'MANDEEP' SAYING: "I was not aware Karma Nirvana helps men. So I said what if I could volunteer at Karma Nirvana but I wanted to work with men, because there are men who have issues as well." SIKH MAN WALKING DOWN THE STREET
  • Embargoed: 14th April 2008 13:00
  • Keywords:
  • Location: United Kingdom
  • Country: United Kingdom
  • Topics: Religion
  • Reuters ID: LVA9HB9J6K3SLJCF9D7FYBGP29TX
  • Story Text: Being gay in any society is tough enough. However being gay in a conservative South Asian Sikh society in England is tougher.
    Mandeep - not his real name - was sexually abused repeatedly when he was a boy by a male relative. Years later he picked up the courage to confide in a cousin about the abuse.
    At that young age Mandeep knew he was gay. The abuse however kept him from telling anyone - because he assumed his family and friends would think he become gay because of the abuse he had experienced.
    Mandeep is now 20 years old and lives in Derby in the North of England.
    He is still coming to terms with his homosexuality and has not come out to friends or his parents.

    "They acknowledge in front of guests I am different, says Mandeep.
    My mother probably knows I am gay. They know I'm different but not necessarily gay," he said.
    Mandeep says that for a South Asian, being gay particularly difficult.
    Mandeep also says that attitudes even in western society towards homosexuals are hostile.

    "For a South Asian specifically, its really negative. Because not only are you rejected by the South Asian community, but I remember when I was about 13 years old, the whole issue in America came up about legalising gay marriage. And when I realised that it wasn't legal for homosexuals to get married, even in the Western world, which I thought up until then was more free in the Western countries. So whereas the South Asian community is not going to accept us, neither is the Western community. So we are stuck in the middle," Mandeep said.
    Mandeep describes himself as "stuck." He says his parents would be hurt if he came out and declared his homosexuality. Right now Mandeep says he is deciding when would be a good time to break the news.

    "I think it's definitely awkward because every other aspect of me is completely accepted and appreciated by South Asian society which makes it even harder. Because I am quite close to the 'gyanis' of the Gurdwara. And also I work at a local grocery store. So all the elderly people are extremely accepting of me. I speak in Punjabi with them, I pack their groceries. So every other element of me is adorable. So those elements are the way they are I feel because I am gay. That's part of the whole package."
    Mandeep's parents live in the United States. They think he is studying at a prestigious London university. He is studying, but working towards a degree in Derby. Mandeep also volunteers at Karma Nirvana - a relief organisation that helps women and increasingly more men, deal with social issues such as homosexuality and forced marriages in the Asian community.

    "I was not aware Karma Nirvana helps men. So I said what if I could volunteer at Karma Nirvana but I wanted to work with men, because there are men who have issues as well," Mandeep said.
    Karma Nirvana says men now make up about 15 percent of all cases - which now average 200 every month.
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