JAPAN: Unhappily married couples turn to divorce counselling to "cut the knot"

Record ID: 466106

  • Title: JAPAN: Unhappily married couples turn to divorce counselling to "cut the knot"
  • Date: 2nd March 2012
  • Summary: TOKYO, JAPAN (FEBRUARY 29, 2012) (REUTERS) PEOPLE WALKING INTO BUDDHIST TEMPLE WHERE COUNSELLING SESSION IS BEING HELD PEOPLE PACKED INSIDE TEMPLE PEOPLE SEATED ON FLOOR VARIOUS OF WOMAN TALKING ABOUT HER DIVORCE EXPERIENCE MORE OF PEOPLE SEATED OR STANDING INSIDE TEMPLE VARIOUS OF MAN SHARING HIS DIVORCE EXPERIENCE VARIOUS OF WOMAN TAKING NOTES MEN LISTENING TO SPEAKER (SOUNDBITE) (Japanese) 31-YEAR-OLD DIVORCE PARTY ORGANIZER HIROKI TERAI SAYING: "Normally in Japan, people who want to divorce have no one to consult with. Even their parents or friends are unlike to side with you on this. So I organized this party to create a place where those who are considering divorcing can talk to those who have already divorced and exchange ideas and life lessons." VARIOUS OF PARTICIPANTS TALKING TO EACH OTHER (SOUNDBITE) (Japanese) 41-YEAR-OLD PARTICIPANT AND BUSINESSMAN KIYOSHI YOSHIMURA WHO DIVORCED TWO YEARS AGO SAYING: "Couples who persist in staying together despite a bitter relationship even though they want to end it should come to this kind of party to help them make that first step toward a fresh start." TWO CANDLES (SOUNDBITE) (Japanese) 45-YEAR-OLD PARTICIPANT AND HOUSEWIFE RIE KUDOU WHO IS CONSIDERING DIVORCE, SAYING: "I'm looking for a way to peacefully break up with my husband so that we can remain friends and still talk to each other." PEOPLE SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER (SOUNDBITE) (Japanese) 50-YEAR-OLD PARTICIPANT AND BUSINESSWOMAN KAORI AKITA WHO DIVORCED FOUR YEARS AGO SAYING: "I want my experience to help people who are seeking ways to peacefully end their relationships." PARTICIPANTS TALKING IN GROUP (SOUNDBITE) (Japanese) 31-YEAR-OLD DIVORCE CEREMONY PLANNER HIROKI TERAI, SAYING: "I am calling these "recovery divorces", as people slowly recover from the March 11 disasters, more and more are finding the time and energy to think about divorce again." PARTICIPANTS TALKING IN GROUP EXTERIOR OF TEMPLE
  • Embargoed: 17th March 2012 12:00
  • Keywords:
  • Location: Japan, Japan
  • Country: Japan
  • Topics: People
  • Reuters ID: LVA15MZ8DC8C34I8PPRCX3IZ6VMB
  • Story Text: Buddhist temples in Japan are usually a place of prayers, reflection and reincarnation.
    So it comes as no surprise that this is also where dozens of men and women gathered on Wednesday (February 29) to contemplate a new life, or look to help others find closure to unhappy marriages.
    These counselling sessions allow people to open up and talk about their problems, in a nation where divorce is still considered a private matter and not often publicly discussed.
    About 40 people, some who have been through divorce, and others who are contemplating it, packed into a small room in the Younji (pronounce: yoh-oon-jee) Buddhist temple looking for guidance.
    During the two-hour session which costs 3,000 yen (37 USD), people of all ages ranging from 30 to 70 also shared their experiences and thoughts on divorce.
    "Normally in Japan, people who want to divorce have no one to consult with. Even their parents or friends are unlike to side with you on this. So I organized this party to create a place where those who are considering divorcing can talk to those who have already divorced and exchange ideas and life lessons," 31-year-old Hiroki Terai, who heads the counselling sessions, said.
    Forty-one-year-old Kiyoshi Yoshimura, who put an end to his 10-year-old relationship in 2009, said the group sessions can help people make a fresh start.
    "Couples who persist in staying together despite a bitter relationship even though they want to end it should come to this kind of party to help them make that first step toward a fresh start," Yoshimura said.
    Forty-five-year-old Rie Kudou, whose husband has been urging her to sign the divorce papers for months, said she came to the party to find a peaceful solution.
    "I'm looking for a way to peacefully break up with my husband so that we can remain friends and still talk to each other," Kudou said.
    A once-divorced and twice married woman said she wants her past experience to help people going through tough times and contemplating divorce.
    "I want my experience to help people who are seeking ways to peacefully end their relationships," said Kaori Akita, 50, who ended her 27-year-old relationship with her first husband in 2008.
    Divorce is not uncommon in Japan. About one in nearly three marriages end in divorce, according to Japanese government data from 2011.
    That compares with one in two in the United States, but Japan's divorce rate is closer to some European nations such as France.
    Recently there was a brief and small dip in divorces -- about 6 percent -- following the earthquake and tsunami of March 2011 as people put some of their longer-term plans on hold.
    But Terai said that is already on the rebound.
    "I am calling these "recovery divorces", as people slowly recover from the March 11 disasters, more and more are finding the time and energy to think about divorce again," he said.
    Terai said he plans to host these divorce counselling session in Tokyo more regularly, in the hopes that it will help more people find a way to "cut the knot" in a failing relationship.
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