USA: Ten years after their husbands were killed in the World Trade Center attacks, two widows reflect on their emotional journeys

Record ID: 842016

  • Title: USA: Ten years after their husbands were killed in the World Trade Center attacks, two widows reflect on their emotional journeys
  • Date: 6th September 2011
  • Summary: (SOUNDBITE) (English) BONNIE MCENEARNEY, WIDOW OF 9/11 VICTIM EAMON MCENEANEY, SAYING: "If you love someone, you think about them more than you don't -- but with fond memories. I think about him all the time. You see your children go through milestones, graduations, proms and things like that. And you wish that the person was there to experience it. And also you know the c
  • Embargoed: 21st September 2011 13:00
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  • Location: Usa, Usa
  • City:
  • Country: USA
  • Topics: Crime,Disasters
  • Reuters ID: LVA90AULA95SC1ER7XWYXF2J0GOZ
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  • Story Text: Several months after her husband Eamon died in the September 11 attacks, Bonnie McEneaney found a tree in her yard, which Eamon had inscribed with the words "Love is forever."
    Eamon, a senior vice president for Cantor Fitzgerald, was trapped in his office on the 105th floor of the North Tower when it collapsed.
    To honor the 46-year-old's romantic spirit, Bonnie published "A Bend In The Road" in 2004, a compilation of poems written by Eamon.
    Coping with the loss of her husband of 15 years was difficult. One of the biggest challenges she explained, is being defined by her identity as a 9/11 widow.
    "For people who don't really know you well but they know that you have been affected by it, you have been impacted by it, it almost becomes a part of your identity," McEneaney told Reuters at her Connecticut home.
    "And of course, none of us want that. But it's like a shadow that you can't get rid of."
    Five months after he died, Eamon's body was recovered and his wedding ring was handed over to her.
    That's when the reality set in that the father of four was gone forever.
    While her feelings for Eamon never waned, she said some moments have been more difficult than others.
    "If you love someone, you think about them more than you don't -- but with fond memories. I think about him all the time," she said.
    "You see your children go through milestones, graduations, proms and things like that. And you wish that the person was there to experience it. And also you know the children feel a void," she said.
    Throughout the hard times McEneaney said spirituality helped bring her peace. She published a book last year titled, "Messages: Signs, Visits and Premonitions from Loved Ones Lost on 9/11," with the hopes of sharing that with others.
    Kristen Breitweiser, who lost her husband Ronald in the attacks, also wrote a book after her husband was killed in the attacks.
    "Wake-Up Call: The Political Education of a 9/11 Widow," was a different kind of story.
    Breitweiser was one of the widows who pressed Washington officials for a public accounting of the attacks. She eventually channeled her frustration into the book, which has enabled her to move on.
    Like McEneaney, she said she no longer wants to be defined as a 9/11 widow.
    "I don't identify myself as a widow anymore. I'm a single mom," Breitweiser told Reuters in an interview near the beach on Long Island, where she now lives.
    She said that her efforts paid off.
    "One of the most telling things for me is that at Caroline's school they had no idea that she was a 9/11 family member," the former lawyer said.
    Breitweiser now leads a quiet life as a stay-at-home mom and often contributes blog entries to the popular website "The Huffington Post."
    She said she tells her daughter - whose smile resembles Ronald's - about the things they have in common.
    "I just tell her. She has a great kick in soccer, or she scores a goal -- 'You know, you're dad was a great soccer player he would be so proud of you.' Or she is very good in math and her dad was very good in math that's sort of how he lives in our lives every day," the 40-year-old said.
    Even so, she pointed out that Caroline refers to "Ron," by his first name instead of "dad."
    "I think we're doing okay. I think we continue to move forward and we take what life gives us and we try to make the best of it. I just think that life is precious and life is beautiful and it's my job to raise Caroline in such a way that she honors her dad."
    It will be some time before Breitweiser allows her daughter to read the book she wrote, "Wake-Up Call: The Political Education of a 9/11 Widow," which describes how she was notified when her husband's arms and wedding ring were found at Ground Zero.
    On the 10th anniversary of Ronald's death, Breitweiser said she will avoid the memorial ceremony at the World Trade Center site. Instead, she plans to spend the day at the beach with her daughter, where she will share memories and shed tears for their loss.
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